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Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Vault - Entry 7 - The Dethalbum

Title: The Dethalbum
Artist: Dethklok
Released: September 25th, 2007
Format: 16 Tracks, 52 mins. long, Williams Street, Available in Vinyl
Genre: Death Metal


I've always had kind of a different view on music. I was an absolute fanatic when it came to it. Back when I was a kid, I used to listen to music like The Scorpions, The Beatles, and Rolling Stones, examples of bands that, to this day, are still considered classic artists. And yet, somewhere after the 70's and 80's, everything seemed to change. Music started to degrade into the pop genre, a torpid, over-insulting type of music, featuring solo artists either signing about girls, love, and about the world (although Michael Jackson is still the greatest pop artist of all time), the R&B genre, and Metal went from overwhelmingly likable and very head-banging to deafeningly unlikable noise. Hard rock was forgotten almost entirely.

So when I first saw The Dethalbum, I really didn't care. Let's go with this: Dethklok is actually featured in a show.

The show's called Metalocalypse: based on the adventures of the band. It was started by Brendon Small, who is the vocalist, guitarist, and electric bassist, and Gene Hoglan, who does drums and back-up vocals. A 2-man band does sound impossible, but they do it. In the show, they both have alter egos.

The characters in the show are Nathan Explosion, the vocalist (and alter ego of Small, in many fans' eyes), the "lyrical visionary" of the band, who always wants the band to be the most brutal in the world, and who can never seem to speak normally because he speaks with a death growl. Skwisgaar Skwigelf (the other alter ego), the lead guitarist and who thinks he's the greatest thing to ever come out of a vagina in the world. There's also my personal favorite, Toki Wartooth, who's the rhythm guitarist and seems to have a more distinct accent, like Skwigelf (we're Dethkloks!), Pickles (the alter ego of Gene Hoglan), who's a beer addict and the drummer of the band, and William Murderface, the bassist and the most mentally confused of the band.

Personally, aside from the somewhat likable characters, I hate the show. The humor's not very good, but the first couple episodes of the first season are at least worth checking out.

The Dethalbum is an album that, surprisingly, I actually kind of like. It has a certain humorous twist to the lyrics (although they're not ALWAYS funny) and great guitar work. I also think that Brendon Small is, as Dethklok should be, the most brutal vocalist ever, and also a kickass guitarist.

But, since it's not the same anymore, I also dislike the album.

Here's my opinion on each of the songs:

1. Murmaider - "It's about mermaid murder!" - Murderface. Okay, so this isn't exactly very good or funny. The lyrics are okay, especially when it lists off the weapons they need (You need your - Knife? Check. Rope? Check. Laser Beams? Check.), but that's about it. Below average, especially the guitar beat.

2. Go Into The Water - A much better improvement, Go Into The Water has guitar riffs and licks that will blow you away.

3. Awaken - The story's about awakening a lake troll. Okay, so it's for the fish, but the vocals are an improvement over the previous two tracks, and the solo is actually very good, along with the main riff, which is similarly good.

4. Bloodrocuted - Quite possibly the definition of "noise" that I thought this album would have, it would take months to actually understand what he's saying. Though it's about a guy who's hunted by mercs that mistook him for someone else. Okay, decent lyrics, but too heavy for the potential it had..

5. Go Forth And Die - It's about dying. It's not very good, that's all I'm going to say.

6. Fansong - Quite possibly the most lyrically funny song, it's basically Eminem's "Stan" in metal form. It's about fans who STILL live in their mother's house, stay about 24 / 7 listening and talking about Dethklok.

7. Better Metal Snake - Amazing lyrics about war, with a halfway decent guitar riff.

8. The Lost Vikings - A classic "Honey, can we ask for directions?" scenario, only there's a twist: the Vikings that are lost, they've got too much pride to ask, and actually say they're going around on purpose. One of the best road trips songs.

9. Thunderhorse - This is about as close as an instrumental you'll get to in the album, and it's amazing. The guitar work in this is catchy, and will stick in your head for days. Very reminiscent of old classic instrumentals like Van Halen's "Eruption", or Metallica's "Orion".

10. Briefcase Full of Guts - Twisted. Weird. Bad. Good. Confusing. This song is brutal, by all means. It's about an employee who kills for business.

11. Birthday Dethday - This was my reaction after the song was over: WHAT THE FUCK?

12. Hatredcopter - Well, this song's actually a lot different, because we've actually got a different voice singing the chorus (in the show, it's Pickles the Drummer), but the overall song needs some serious editing.

13. Castratikron - It's about some weird beast from the Earth's core made to kill you. Uh, we've already heard this. Nothing new.

14. Face Fisted - The song is absolutely demented and stupid. Least favorite on the album, it's about an insane person, with weird lyrics to top it off (You have sex with a cake.) Um, this is supposed to be funny?

15. Dethharmonic - It's about dying. Again. Yawn.

16. Deththeme - NOTE: This is actually the intro to the show. Mediocre at best. It's got lyrics that could of been added at the last second (Doodily ding dong tick tock).


It's actually pretty good for the few good tracks on here, but overall, I'd save your money for more of the definite metal albums out there.


I'd have to say "Thunderhorse" and "Go Into The Water" are the only two tracks I'd call "great", but "Fansong" is also pretty good. Lyrically, "Better Metal Snake" is worth a look.

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